I grew up in a Catholic home going to Sunday mass every week. As well as this, I fully embraced the religion as I was part of a Catholic primary and secondary school. Throughout my secondary school days, I believed that if I did not have sex before marriage, and didn’t kill anyone, then maybe I’ll be eligible to make it to this place called “heaven” when I died. I embraced the religion so much that I underwent all the ceremonies such as the Holy Communion and Confirmation. Not only this, but I was an “alter server” for 12 years of my life as I believed this was one of many reason I deserved to go to heaven.

Towards the end of my teenage years (16/17 years of age) I stopped classing myself as a Catholic.  Even though I was not a true believer of the gospel, I started to classify myself as a Christian. With no idea of the gospel, I continued my Catholic duties just to obey my parents but secretly denying Catholicism but embracing Agnosticism. During the start of 2013, a friend of mine decided to send me a sermon by Paul Washer. Although I cannot remember the exact name of it, I remember what the sermon was about.

The sermon specifically spoke about the impossibility of man naturally choosing good over evil. This caused great confusion in my mind because it seemed contrary to what I already knew about “Christianity”. In my mind, I chose to do good, such as not steal; not lie etc. and because of this, I deserved to go to heaven. But throughout the next couple of months, whilst exploring what this preacher had to say about the issue, I realised 2 things. One was that my standard of what was “good” did not come from the perfection of Jesus Christ but rather it came from me comparing myself to, what I thought to be, the worst of humanity. The second thing I learnt was that, I had no idea what Christianity was, in terms of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

In my mind, I thought that because I was not stealing and killing, I was Christian, but after listening to these sermons and seeing what the Bible really taught, I knew this wasn’t true. During the journey of exploring the bible and listening to these teachers teach the word of God, I concluded a number of things. I concluded that I was a sinner. That no matter how much “good” I thought I had done, I still sinned against God every day of my life. I concluded that because of this, Jesus Christ lived the life I was incapable of living. He was tempted in every way but endured and held on to righteousness; something that human kind is incapable of doing on their own. When he died on the cross, He took upon himself the wrath of God the Father; a wrath that I was entirely deserving of. I concluded that when he raised from the dead, he defeated death and sin so that those who believe in Him may have eternal life.

Believing this has changed the direction of my life in ways that I had never anticipated. I’ve gone from living my life aimlessly in sin, to feeling the Holy Spirit convict me of my sin on a daily basis. The gospel has changed my heart towards God. Previously I viewed God as entity that whom I had to say sorry to whenever I told a lie; but now I see Him as my Father, my source of joy and my saviour. With great delight in His word, a close friend of mine (the guy who sent me the sermon I mentioned in the beginning) have been running a Skype bible study every Sunday even for the last couple of years. From desiring things of the world to desiring things of God, my life has been changed for the good and I can rest assured in my salvation.